The last love letter

Dear baby

I hold back my deepest feelings from you because I know that they are almost wasted. I put up a big front, a smile, a "skip in my step", I say I am happy but the reality is that I am emotionally dying because of this relationship. Today when we had the conversation about why we always make love instead of doing other things when we are together, your response made me wonder if we are only tolerating this situation because of the sex. We do have an unbelievably amazing physical chemistry between us.I love the physical feelings that you make me feel and they take my breath away when I think of them. But...... If I am in this relationship emotionally all by myself, I simply can't continue.

My life is consumed by thoughts of you. I don't make a move without you being there inside my head. When I am at home alone I always wonder what it would be like to be together like a real couple. It kills me when I think about you going home every night to your wife, eating dinner together, watching TV together, living together, sharing a family together, sleeping in bed together and (I don't want to know, I really don't, please, please,please don't ever tell me) having sex together.

My feelings for you grow stronger everyday and each time they do, I go in the opposite direction because I know that it doesn't matter how strongly I feel for you or how many times I tell you I love you, it will not change the dynamics of this relationship. You can never love me back as much as I love you.

It began such a long and surreal time ago. I remember the first time I saw you I was so attracted to you that I was shocked and alarmed at the same time. I was married, so I was not worried as to why or how it would impact my life being that drawn to another person. The attraction was incredible and at times overwhelming yet it never posed any "danger".

I remember sitting close to you and imagining what you smelled like, felt like and tasted like. It was insane... crazy. I would see you for a brief moment and my day would be filled with an extra bit of life. I didn't even know you! If anybody had asked me about my little guy (a nickname I gave you)I would not have been able to tell them anything at all except for OMG, I quiver whenever I am near him.

This went on for over three years, remember? I would go out of my way to be in the same place as you might be. I would stand in a line-up behind you and almost groan out loud when I thought about

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Cheating and consequences: Thinking things through?
We want to hear your view. Write now!