Think about it- what kept your sex life exciting back before you got married? First of all, your spouse is probably the person you've been with the longest- time makes for habits, and habits are never exciting. Second, part of the thrill of unmarried sex is that feeling that it's a little against the rules- the thrill of the illicit, especially if it's in a relationship in its very early stages.

So, how do you keep that thrill alive in the marriage bed? The same way you make anything work in a marriage- compromise and mutual effort. Of course, the result is a lot more fun than some other married-people things you could say that about!

IT'S NOT JUST THE BEDROOM
If you and your spouse make bringing sexy back a way of life- if he comes up to kiss on her neck when he gets home, if she sneaks a sexy little note into something he'll see at work, if he pinches her butt when she's doing dishes, if she rubs up against him briefly in a restaurant- all these things will be nothing but inspiration when you finally get back to the bedroom. Think of it as twenty four hour foreplay.

DO THE HONESTY THING
Everybody's got a little freak in them- be honest about your fetishes and fantasies, and expect the same from your partner. Most importantly, even if what's thrown out there is a little too far out for you, don't flip out- find a compromise, and be willing to experiment. If your spouse is really, really into something then you want to find some way of satisfying that kink- you'll be together the rest of your lives, so you need some kind of game plan, and the two of you have all the time in the world to try things out.

PRACTICE FEELING SEXY
Sometimes it's not so much finding the other person attractive- it's finding yourself attractive as you grow older and perhaps a little less shapely. Everyone can learn to love their own body- it's just a different path for every person. Working out, of course there's an option, and it's got a lot of health benefits to boot, but if an hour at the spa makes you feel like an absolute goddess, or if playing basketball with the boys makes you feel like the king of the world, then learn to use those feelings and what inspires them.

DON'T FORGET YOU'RE IN LOVE
Being in love is one of those things that wears off, on it's own. But if you work at it- focusing on the positive in your partner, doing date nights, thinking about them during the day, grabbing your favorite parts of them the minute you see them at night- it all comes back. Even something like really several-second kissing every time instead of doing the quick-peck thing- it just feels more romantic. Sexier. More in love.

Learn more about this author, Kellie Hall.
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