I knew we should have turned around and left when we pulled into the driveway of a bed and breakfast that prided itself on relaxation and reconnecting with nature when I saw the large two story house with chipped white paint, over grown grass and a little sign hanging from a tree that "ELCOM"(ed) us.

The owner a woman in her 50's was just getting out of her own car after a trip to the farmers market in her over-alls and knee high rubber boots smelling like manure. She was a friendly woman; I had spoken to her on the phone the week before and made reservations for the "Nature Room." She led us into the house pointed out the relaxation room, which was very nice, and the library equally as nice then the kitchen where all the guests could prepare there own food, in other words there was no breakfast at the bed and breakfast just the bed.

The Nature Room we had reservations for was on the second floor in the corner of the house. The windows were open to allow the nice fall breeze in and the flies and whatever other insect as there were no screens on the windows. She sat in one of the wicker chairs and proceeded to pick the dead flies out of the flower pot and off the wicker table top and a few off of the bed. While she tossed the dead flies out the window, I looked around wondering how she could call the dark and dreary room a nature room. When she had finished her chore, she proceeded to tell us that we were staying in the handy man's room and to just ignore his stuff. By stuff, she meant his toiletries that were spread out all over the bathroom counter his towel draped over the shower and bathrobe that hung on the back of the door. Oh and by the way, she said upon exiting "We have water well, so only flush the toilet every five or six times you use it and please limit your showers to 10 minutes."

My husband and I looked at each other in disbelief and recounted what had happened. We paid $150 to spend the night in the handy mans bedroom that was filled with dead and live bugs, we couldn't flush the toilet and we get a 10 minute shower ( I was looking forward to a nice long hot bubble bath.) There was no breakfast, no TV anywhere in the house and we noticed that the door did not latch when shut so the breeze continually pushed it open.

Trudging forward trying to make the best of it, we took a "nature" walk visited the pond (swamp), the labyrinthine (clump of rocks) and finally the nature path where we meet a family of raccoons who were as unhappy to see us as we were to see them. In my mad attempt to get away from them, I tripped over a broken branch (log) and landed on my face. I was very proud of my husband he didn't laughuntil my fat lip and scratches went away about a week later.
When we returned to the house in our mangled and miserable state we looked for the owner, she was nowhere to be found. There were a few other guests that had arrived while we were out enjoying nature (NOT!) that helped us find the first aid kit.

Upon returning to our room, I went into the bathroom to get cleaned up from our outing and the handyman was dressing in the (his) bathroom! Seems the owner forgot to tell him we had arrived.

By the time the handyman got dressed, we were well on our way to the closest hotel.

Learn more about this author, Tammy L Mahan.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: My worst B&B experience?
We want to hear your view. Write now!