by Adrienne Farmer

Created on: November 01, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

To Sir, With Loathing

It has been determined that my girlfriend's cat is masochistic. Impossible? That's what most people would say. How can a pet be masochistic? Cats, especially, are sometimes considered sadistic. I tell you, though, that Sir Anthony (after the well-known actor) is different. Is odd, in more ways than one. After living with him for two months now I can safely say he marches to the beat of his own drum.

I should point out that I have never owned a pet. As a child I wondered if I'd somehow been deprived of a unique experience. That is, until someone's dog came to visit my nether regions or I became perversely fascinated by tiny brown tubularthings (read: refuse) trailing fish around their bowls. Growing up I was torn between two equal desires. The first, to come home to a fish, bird, cat or dog, expressing my love each day with shameless abandon. The second, to not have to deal with the constant responsibility of taking care of something other than myself.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I found out that Sir Anthony, better known as Tony, makes a sound like some kind of bird when he's trying to get my attention. If I choose to ignore him, which is more often than not, he will stare at me intently, pleadingly. I think he may be sending me a telepathic message, or worse, hypnotizing me. My girlfriend, of course, knows better, but even she cannot explain why, after shooing him away over and over again, he keeps coming back to me for more. Now, I'm sure if I was an animal person, his bird calling and persistent return would warm my heart. Unfortunately I just find him annoying. Really annoying since I find myself marveling at his determination to like a human who refuses to like him.

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