Before attempting to get you ex back first be entirely sure that this is what you really want. Take a good, long hard look at why you split up in the first place and try to remember the reality of the relationship as it was when you were together.

If the relationship was one based on continuous trials and tribulations then it may just be that getting back with the other person will not mean that you relationship will be any different than it was in the past.

If you parted for a good reason then can you imagine this reason being any less important to you or changing significantly?

After exploring these details you will have a better idea of whether you truly feel that you and you ex are suited to being with one another.

You may find upon reflection that it would be healthier for you to move on gracefully and to find someone else to be with who you can be really happy with.

However, if it turns out that you still feel the same way and desperately want to be with your ex, then the next step is to find out if they feel the same way about you and are willing to try again.

Do bare in mind that they may have moved on since your relationship. Be prepared for a possible rejection and don't take it to heart if they don't want you back. Take it as a sign that you were not right for each other and understand that it leaves you free to explore other avenues that may be even better.

Contacting an ex is the only way to truly find out if they are interested in getting back with you and still harbor feelings for you.

Relying on rumors or hearsay from others may not leave you with an accurate response.

Sending a text message or emailing a former partner is impersonal and may be regarded as being flippant or cold.

If you telephone then you risk accidentally talking to a new partner of your ex or catching them at an inconvenient moment. The element of surprise is not necessarily favorable in such a situation.

Far better, is to write to your ex, explaining how you feel, but without writing reams of information which may overwhelm them and leave them flailing about for a response like a fish out of water.

If your ex is interested then you can arrange a meeting with them to resolve any unfinished business and clear the air after your previous break up.

Getting back with an ex can lead to a more mature relationship where you move on to higher ground together.

It can also be an opportunity to repeat past mistakes and to get set into a relationship groove like a stuck needle on a record.

Be prepared to walk away again if things don't work out favorably. If this does happen then at least you will be able to close the doors on the relationship knowing that you did your utmost to make it work.

People often go back to their ex simply because this is all that they know. Knowing an ex well and going back to them can sometimes feel easier and more comfortable than having to go through the rigmarole, and delights, of having to get to know someone new.

But getting to know someone new may just be what you need, or it could be that being without a partner for a while and having space and time to be alone will benefit you.

Learn more about this author, Heidi Marie Fleetfoot.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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