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As the Mother of two beautiful children adopted from Guatemala I understand the pure selflessness of a birth-mother.
I gave birth to my son in 1979 and his Father died in a motorcycle accident in 1981. My second husband and I tried for years to have children. Through a myriad of fertility tests and operations we never lost hope always thinking a miracle would happen. When my son graduated high school and left for college, I was a basket case! My nest was so empty! Soon our miracle came, but not the way we expected it.

We decided to adopt a baby. My husband said it was as though I were pregnant. Unfortunately the wait for a baby in the United States can take years. In my opinion abortion is a selfish decision, but that's for another article. We did all the required paperwork, clearances, home study, financial statements and began to wait for a baby. After a year of waiting we started discussing International adoption. My husband and I weren't getting any younger and we didn't see the sense in waiting years when there were children in Guatemala who needed homes.
Through friends who had also adopted from Guatemala, we searched the Internet finding a facilitator and we started our adoption. We spoke to our facilitator on January 2nd and our oldest daughter was born on January 10th. The facilitator phoned me at work to ask if we were serious about adopting, when I said yes we are, he asked what we would like to name our daughter! What a magical moment!
Much more paperwork needed to be done FBI fingerprinting and dozens more documents. These documents needed the county seal, state seal and country seal before they could go to Guatemala. I have heard it said that anyone can adopt from Guatemala. I'm here to say that is not true!
Anyway back t the selflessness of a birth-mother-somewhere in Guatemala a woman named Flora had given birth to my daughter. She was thirty-two years old with five children. She worked as a housekeeper, I'm not certain what her income was but in a country where the average income is $200.00 a month I'm sure she was poor. for nine months she carried my daughter and the day she was born she didn't even name her. I have often thought she didn't name her because she couldn't bear to name her and then let her go. Flora knew that in a country with 80% illiteracy her baby would have a better life here. Our daughter is now six and in first grade, an A and B student she swims on the YMCA swim team. Yes her mother could have kept her and perhaps she would have survived and known the love of her first Mother but Flora chose a better life for her child.
Our second daughter was also born to a thirty-two year old woman, Sebastinia had two daughters already and when her boyfriend found out she was pregnant he left. the men in Guatemala don't take much responsibility for the children. Sebastinia had been married previously but he husband was shot and killed. She did name her daughter, how difficult that must have been for her. And how difficult for the older sisters to let their baby sister go. Each Mother is required to have a DNA test to prove they actually are the birth-mother. How difficult must it be to hold the child you gave away and have your photo taken with her?
I am not familiar with domestic adoption but I have first hand knowledge of International adoption and I believe it is the most selfless act a Mother can perform.

Learn more about this author, Cindy Benner.
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