I live in a very rich area in South East Pennsylvania. The majority of cars that you see parked at the grocery store are new mini-vans or SUV. I drove one of those cars. I paid for my 2 car payments what most people pay for a mortgage. I was "In". Then it ended. My 13 year marriage ended and I was alone for the first time in my life. I been with my ex-husband since I was 15 and now I was alone. Alone with three kids in a house I had to sell, overwhelmed with everything. Overwhelmed with the thought of being alone.

And then he showed up. He was charming, shy, and he rode into my life like a knight on a white horse. He helped with everything, wrote me love letters, poems. You name it. Everything I wanted. I sold the house and we moved into together and suddenly his other side showed up. Bits and pieces of his past life started coming out. The fights with his ex-wife where she had hit him and he swung back. In some ways he spoke proudly as he told me how he blackened her eye, or how he had beat her so bad she cried for her mother.

I knew I was in trouble and I knew I had to get out. He was becoming paranoid, possessive controlling. I had to get out. But then I would be alone. I threw him out and shortly after found out I was pregnant. And yes, I did what most woman do, I thought it would change him.

There was no physical abuse for the first two years. Just the mental and emotional abuse. He would set the standard I was suppose to meet and when I did, he'd change it and tell me it still wasn't right. The definition of what I was suppose to be was the "Leave it to Beaver" mom.

When we would argue he would warn me, be careful, you don't know what I am capable of. Then finally one night it happened. I knew with every argument I was pushing it, and this was the one that crossed over. I ripped the blankets off of him during a late night argument. That was it. He flew up out of bed, grabbed my neck and started choking me, slamming down onto the bed. I kicked at him and he took me by the neck and drug me off the bed. And I never said a word. I never cried out. I never yelled. I would be damned if my children heard me crying. He finished what he wanted to do and went to bed. I awoke the next morning ashamed. Ashamed that I had let my life end up like this. My soul was broken. Where could i go? I had 4 kids, I didn't work. I was trapped and he knew it.

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