Being married to a firefighter is a tough job. There are no two ways about it. Whether they are paid or volunteer there is one thing that you can be sure of, this is a mistress you just can't fight.

I have been involved with firefighters for the last twenty two years, give or take a little. When I was younger, I tried to fight it. I didn't see why my husband had to be at the fire house all the time. I definitely couldn't understand why he had to answer every single call that came over. He was a volunteer.

At the time I had two small children. I needed my husband there to help me take care of the youngest because he was so hard to deal with. My husband wasn't with me though, he was off to the fire house. I would get more and more aggravated as I would tell him he needed to stop spending so much time at the fire house.

That marriage ended with me saying that I would never date another fire fighter again. I lied. I met someone that was not only a volunteer fire fighter but a wildland firefighter as well. This was even worse because during the summer months he was gone most of the time. When he was home, it was off to the fire house. Again, the relationship ended with me saying I would never date another firefighter again. I lied again.

I am currently with a firefighter whom I love very much. He's a volunteer also and spends a great deal of his time answering calls. The difference now is that I understand it more than I ever did before.

Here are some tips to get you through those tough, lonely times:

1. Don't try to change him. He's going to be a firefighter and there isn't really a lot you can do about it. He will be dedicated to his mission as a member of the fire department. It's something that you have to learn to work around.

2. Get some hobbies of your own. The more you sit around waiting on him to come home, the more chance there is of you getting angrier by the minute. Go shopping or visit friends. Do something that you have wanted to do for a long time and have put off.

3. Get into your firefighters head. The more you understand about what they are doing the more you will love and respect him for it. They are a rare breed and you should treat them as the gem they really are.

4. Be happy that they are at the firehouse. I know this seems like a ridiculous idea, however, would you rather them be out drinking or with other women? I would much rather have fire as his mistress than another person.

5. Go with him sometimes to the

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