by Lynn Jordan

Created on: October 31, 2007

A hush falls over the crowd. Anticipation fills the air along with the cloying, sweet scent of flowers. My friends and family are all gathered here.

A strident chord from the huge pipe organ rings through the air and reverberates off the walls, breaking the heavy silence. All eyes turn toward me. I grasp my father's arm tightly as the music fills the air.

Dad squeezes my hand. "It's not too late to back out," he whispers.

I think of the entire year of planning, all the expense, and the future I'm about to accept. I look down to the end of the aisle. I see him standing before the alter, looking at me. The man who embodies that future. The man whose ring I'm about to receive. The man who'll share the rest of my life.

Am I doing the right thing? Do I truly know the desire of my heart? Am I grabbing a bright future or throwing my life away? Only time will tell.

What lies before us, me and this man whose gaze reaches into mine? Is he as nervous and scared as I? Not likely. He is confidence personified, always sure of himself and his path. He wears his tuxedo as naturally as he does his favorite jeans and tee shirt.

Will his confidence and self assurance bolster me along life's path? Will his strong arms and wide shoulders provide safety and solace through life's uncertain journey? Or will his confidence become smug superiority with time? Will the maturity I so much admire now become frustrating when he treats me like a child needing guidance?

Then I see it, the chink in his armor. As he raises his hand to beckon me forward, I notice the slight tremor of his fingers. This small vulnerability reminds me why I love this man, why I'll pledge to spend my life with him. Reminds me of the dreams we share, the plans we've made.

I smile and meet his gaze. Then I turn to my father. "Let's do this."

We step forward, into the future, guided by the sound of Wagner's Here Comes the Bride-the scariest song I ever heard, and the one, at this moment, I love the most. It symbolizes my union with the man I love. We will begin our journey together as man and wife, facing all that life throws at us together. That life long journey starts with this one tiny step.

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