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In getting to know yourself better I think you first have to arrive at the time in your life when you became a stranger. Sit down, take note of your life and identify that space and time when it all happened or started. As you write you will identify places, people and habits. Now, you must remain honest throughout this endeavor. What are the good things-the positive things from that list. If you have negative places-people and habits you are now going to have to withdraw from them. I know that it could be hard. But the rewards are many-trust me. When I had become completely disgusted with myself for smoking, I too had to do this same exercise. I realized that the cigarette went with the beer and all of this went with certain friends and environments. So I stayed away from the environments. If the associates didn't want to join me for lunch vs. a club or evening setting where I was likely to strike up again-well then I did not engage in their company. Eventually you will find that only the true supporters will change their habits to support you. If you have an associate that refuses to meet you for lunch vs. your friday girls night out, because of your positive change well then I suggest you re-evaluate whether she is a friend or link to your negative behavior. The next step to this is what I call hermiting-this is a process where I cut myself off from things/people so i can see things clearer. It is a form of fasting, some would say. So that you are not rude or being offensive to others -contact them by e-mail. Tell them that you are working on a project and will get back to them soon. People generally respect others working so no harm done there. Now in this time surround yourself with positive items. Watch positive shows if you choose to watch television. When I wanted to freelance but had no support from family or friends i took such steps. I did the hermit exercise. I went to the library and got some positive books on cd to listen to like Hill Harper, Ladies that Launch and Russel Simmon's. I made myself a collage to put up over my desk. I did this to motivate/remind myself of my goals and ideas when i got in a slump. When I came out of my hermit state I could see things clearer and I was stronger. You will find that strength as well. Sometimes you have to step back in order to really look at your surroundings. When we meditate or focus on things, in this case ourselves things are revealed. You will realize that the friend you

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