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You are hearing the following from a single woman in her fifties: You can't find everything you need in one person. I wish it were possible to harvest traits you find appealing in each person you meet and have them installed into one man that you find handsome. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world.

I've been divorced for the past decade and have had a number of relationships and dates. One man I dated had an incredible-sounding voice on the phone but it didn't match the individual when I met him in person. Another man was intelligent, financially secure and very interesting, but I couldn't imagine myself being intimate with him. The man I did feel compelled to want to be with physically also had a wonderful deep voice, but he lacked the intelligence, financial security, integrity and worldly image I aspired to find.

To be truly happy, one must find what they need by including different people in their lives. There has to be a balance of intimacy, intellectual outlet/friendships.

Perhaps there are those fortunate individuals who have found everything they need in one person. If so, I'd like to hear from them. How often does this truly happen . . . to find that one individual where there exists mutual chemistry, personality and intellectual compatibility. Maybe I have been looking in all the wrong places.

Learn more about this author, Deborah Goulekas.
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