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I have arranged to meet first dates in a book store . . . sometimes Barnes & Nobles or Borders. This arrangement serves several purposes: The safety of being in a public place with a stranger and the opportunity to discover personality and intellectual compatibility.

After enjoying a coffee and a chat with my date, I suggest we take a walk around the book store, up and down different isles containing various topics. We might pass the religious section and this triggers some comments on inner spirituality. Other isles could open up discussions on health, family, lifestyle, pets, gardening, art and many other topics. While walking around the bookstore, one can take notice of mannerisms, unusual personality quirks, and sense if there is mutual chemistry.

If the meeting at the book store goes well, and it is nearing the supper hour I will be invited to join my date for dinner. If I feel there is no personality compatibility or attraction, I will indicate that I must leave because I have a late afternoon appointment. We both go are separate ways and there are no hard feelings.

I've learned from experience to make sure you have an escape hatch for a first date. If you have no experience with an individual, the last thing you want to do is be stuck with this person for hours with no way out. I make it a point that first dates don't include sunset cruises, a movie, attending a party or being a passenger in their automobile. A date needs to be evaluated and a book store is a perfect place to scrutinize a potential partner.

Learn more about this author, Deborah Goulekas.
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