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Once my best girlfriend slept with my long term boyfriend and I did forgive her. When I finally got a chance to ask her why she had done such a terrible thing to me,not once, but many times, she had no response. She honestly couldn't think of an excuse and I knew that he had done it mostly out of loneliness because I had moved away to attend college. I was positive that she didn't want him for herself and that both of them just did it out of convenience. Not that I am condoning their activity or that I don't find it disgusting. I for one, could never have done that to anyone I considered a friend and was baffled that she was capable of doing it to me.

I wanted to move on from past infidelities and since I had been unfaithful to my man with another person while away at college, I let it drop. We then decided to get married instead of breaking up and my friend who had cheated with him was the maid of honor. I wanted to start over with a clean slate and so we forgave each other for all the horrible things we both did before we were married. I assumed that the level of commitment alone would change everything. Cheating on a girlfriend was one thing, but cheating on a wife was another. I didn't think I would have to worry about the lack of faithfulness from him or my friend again.

It turns out I was wrong and the ring on my finger made no difference to this man or yet another of my "best" friends. Although the next time he did at least choose a different friend. I know that he loved me, but he had a flawed way of thinking. He believed that he could be married and still maintain sexual relationships with other women. He actually thought this was okay because he "knew where his heart was." Obviously, as soon as I could afford to do it, I left this man and didn't speak to the friend ever again.

I never got a chance to confront my friend however and that is something I regret. This particular friend spent a lot of time at my house and I was so trusting I even gave her a key. Sometimes I would come home from school and she'd already be there just watching television with my husband or even by herself! She didn't have anyone else and I was a very trusting person. They would often get drunk together after work while I studied for an exam in the other room. I tend to have this naive belief that most people were basically good, or at least I did believe that. I was such a good friend to this girl and for her to have the ability to utterly betray me, is something I can't wrap my brain around.

It would never occur to me to sleep with a friends boyfriend much less husband. I just don't operate that way. I wouldn't even sleep with a man who was involved with a girl even if I didn't know her. I know what it feels like to be hurt, so I would never want to be responsible for hurting someone like that even if the person was a stranger.

Learn more about this author, Julie Bruce.
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