Recently a friend asked me if it bothers me when strangers ask me about my physical situation. Much like with family and friends, I would actually prefer people to ask me directly rather than make assumptions. It does, however, bother me at certain times depending on the tone or situation.

"Do you have MS?" is the question I hear most frequently. Mainly in public places like the grocery store or the costume store at the local strip mall and not once a week but often enough that I am getting used to fielding it.

That question doesn't bother me. I applaud the stranger that can muster the guts to come up to me and ask me directly about my physical situation. Often it's simply an awareness of what might be a common interest. They recognize the wide gait because someone they love has MS and they just want to chat about coping or simply wish me well.

Other times I can take one look in their eyes and get the distinct feeling they saw the wide gait coupled with the ataxia and thought that they had finally found a comrade in ailment and just want to, need to bond a bit with one of the few who can actually relate.

I feel a little guilty for the potential disappointment when I shake my head and tell them that I had a brain tumor but many of the side effects are similar and MS was actually my initial diagnosis. We wish each other well then head off in our separate directions.

I was initially annoyed the other day when I was pushing a wheel impaired cart in and out of the grocery store aisles and heard a female voice from behind ask if I always walked around the store that way. I could feel the anger rising in me when I turned my head a gave some stranger the evil eye. My version of the evil eye is probably not all that intimidating but, in this case at least, it was enough to convey the pissed off point. The woman immediately apologized about how the question sounded. A brief chat revealed that she was concerned not about my slow pace but that I had been forced to use a cart since all the handicapped equipment was in use. Depending on my response, she was prepared to give the store manager a hard time for not having enough handicapped equipment and for allowing parents to let their children joy ride them around the store just to placate them. She seemed pretty angry about that and I kept having to assure her that I preferred pushing a cart around because it was good exercise for me. I was pleased that it turned out that this stranger was firmly on my side

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