Sibling rivalry is nothing new, down through the ages it has shown its angry head quite frequently. What is sibling rivalry? Basically a form of antagonism toward a brother or sister which often results in name calling, body harm and often bullying tactics as well as bodily harm.

This can become extremely out of control if there is no parental intervention, it can also lead to major harm to family relationships. A child's' security is threatened as well. No parent should ignore this, its damaging and certainly condones bad behavior as well as brutality. Hate breeds hate, and contempt breed contempt, so don't let it fester.

Many psychologists state that sibling rivalry stems out of jealousy. Thus one child wishes for more attention than another, otherwise they feel less favored. In many cases they don't get the attention that they were seeking, other than a smack on the rear end or a severe dressing down. Unfortunately the child who instigates this is a troubled child indeed.
This child needs much reassurance, love, approval, and certainly counseling!

Personality clashes are normal yet when the rivalry invites personal harm to another it has gone too far. Thus where and how do you draw the line? One must be perceptive and surely when sibling rivalry is there they must see it. So often parents turn their backs on the aggressive child, yet that is the one who needs them the most.

Sadly they don't see anything out of the norm, yet children are not by nature aggressive. Something has triggered them to be this way and one needs to find out very quickly what the source of the problem is. Personalities differ; we all know that, yet most children have amicable persona's. When a child displays a nasty nature we need to see what is making them so riled up.

At times divorce has children very confused, someone has left, and they are not happy about this at all! They don't always know who to blame or what went wrong so they simply take their anger and frustration on the one nearest at hand. This more often than not, is the more timid child.

It's a well known fact that brothers are more competitive in comparison to sisters. Thus we see the rivalry more defined when there is a brother/brother relationship as opposed to a sister/sister one. Brothers seem so much more hostile, and I often contemplate if this is due to boys feeling the need to be tough.

Rivalry is not always bad, at times it can encourage a child to become a little more assertive and thus stand up for themselves. Fights over toys can often be solved amongst the children. Thus they learn to share and also learn to be patient when they want something. This is where the parent needs to step in and give a little well earned discussion about patience as well as consideration.

Children need to learn how to compromise; this is where you the parent need to teach it, and have them incorporate it in their day to day lives. When sibling rivalry gets out of hand, seek counseling, children have been known to pick up weapons. Don't let this ostracize your child.

If left to fester, hatred will breed, and indeed the threats will escalate. Don't let this follow into puberty; otherwise you will have a ticking, time bomb on your hands.
Read "The baffled parent's guide to sibling rivalry". It's an excellent source of knowledge and suggestions for bringing this to a halt.

Learn more about this author, Shenni Bubb.
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