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Cancer: A Family Affair

Cancer is not an individual disease. It attacks not only the cells in the affected person's body, it also attacks the foundations of family. My sister was just diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma and will have surgery in the next two days. We are not prepared for what could be happening inside her body right now, this minute. As a family that is typically dysfunctional with more than our fair share of drama at times, we have all pulled together. Our family has put aside all differences and past hurts to hope for the best scenario, but also to prepare for the worst should that happen.

At this point, the unknown is the scary part of the diagnosis and treatment is the monster in the closet. Lots of prayer, love and laughter has been our way of coping the past few weeks while waiting for calls from surgeons and hospital schedulers. Seeing the fear in my sister's eyes when she is wiping away sudden bursts of tears has been heart-rending. I love her too much to mouth empty platitudes.

All I can offer is unconditional love and support. I have held her hand while driving down the road listening to her instructions should anything happen other than a good prognosis. Inside I felt as though I was weak and helpless, mentally laying on the floor kicking and protesting the fact that she has to go through this. I am the oldest, she is my baby sister. I should be able to make it better, fix it in some way. My sister is a strong person, and has coped with devastating events in her life with good grace most of the time. At other times, she has kicked and screamed against events that has happened. Never have I seen her afraid until now. My sister has cancer. My sister is a survivor. She will overcome this too.

Time moves on. It has now been seven months since my sister had surgery. She survived as I prayed she would. She is now less three percent of her left kidney, but the cancer was contained. So we were told. She was not a candidate for prophylactic chemotherapy or radiation, the oncologist did not think she would need it.

She has since finished nursing school and is now a nurse that I am very proud of. She graduated exactly twenty years after I did from the same nursing school that I attended. Not only did she graduate, she did it with honors. All of her family came to support her and rejoice in her achievement. She did not quit. She did not give up. She powered through and proved to herself that she is a person that had cancer, not a cancer with a person.

Last week she had to have another CT scan. Again, we are hoping and praying. Each day is a precious victory, hard won. She is handling this bump in the road with much more grace and optimism than I think I would. This remarkable woman is my sister. She is a survivor.

Learn more about this author, Kathy Jolly.
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