no matter what style under the microscope, require a bit of change from generation to generation because society changes from generation to generation.

In many of our lifetimes, we have seen society transform from acceptance of bobby socks, long skirts and dresses, and cover ups, to no socks, short skirts and dresses, and girls bear your breasts. For boys we have seen a transformation from suspenders, to belts, to go on and show your underwear (no one knows you have not washed them for a week).

We have also gone from respect your body to get as many tattoos as you can - your mom won't mind even though she spent eighteen years protecting your skin from booboos - to let's wear as many earrings as we can, male or female. Plus, let us not forget, let's wear earrings in as "many places" as we can pierce.

The author may have been rambling a bit. However, her points are (1) there is no perfect discipline strategy and (2) discipline strategies that do exist must be modified from parent to parent, child to child, and generation to generation because life changes.

If you are a parent who likes to be clear and concise - and may even like the idea of having information written down - unlike those super genius parents mentioned earlier, here are a few rules of thumb to help with your quest in understanding the myth, I mean fairy tale, I mean fable of the perfect discipline strategy:

Number 1. Enact age appropriate rules your children can follow. Write the rules down if necessary.

Number 2. When you discipline a child look him in the eye. Make certain he is paying attention to what you say, and that he understands what you say.

Number 3. Give children positive attention. When children are doing the right things, verbalize this. Exaggerate even. Don't fall into the trap of only criticizing your children when they do something that's the wrong thing and underemphasizing their positive acts. Bear in mind that criticism can be negative or positive and criticizing them only when their doing the wrong things teaches them to seek the wrong kind of attention.

Number 4. Let children know you are interested in what they are doing. Parental interest reiterates children's beliefs that they are important. So, discuss activities they partake in even if they act as though they do not want you to.

Number 5. Set good examples for children. If you want them to be studious, study something yourself. If you want them to eat right, eat right yourself. If you want them to act appropriate, act appropriate yourself.

Number 6. Make sure your kids feel loved and safe. Love and safety are basic inborn human needs. We all deserve to have these needs met everyday.

Number 7. Help children understand consequences of their actions. 'What might happen if Jenny throws her ball in the street when a car is coming?'

Number 8. When children act out, parents should try to figure out why instead of simply addressing particular problems. Analyzing children's behavior leads to understanding children and increases parents' chances of uncovering problems they may be able to help children solve.

Never stop learning how to discipline children. Although the perfect discipline strategy is a myth, the quest for disciplinarian perfection will never end.

Learn more about this author, R. Renee Bembry.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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