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Authoritative parenting has gotten a lot of bad press lately. To some it may seem too loud, or too controlling, to others it borders on abuse. The truth is, however, that being authoritative, like any other approach to parenting, has its pros and cons.

But before we go any further we first have to define what we mean by authoritative parenting. Being authoritative in parenting means using aggressive discipline. Things are either right or wrong, black or white. There is little room for gray areas, and all the members of the family are expected to keep in line. Should anyone rebel against this set-up, then he is quickly forced back into place. While this approach may include yelling, threatening, and at times, physical punishment, it also includes clearly defined rules and limits as well as the idea that every behavior or decision has its consequences.

Those who lean too heavily on the side of authoritative parenting may bring to their homes several negative consequences:

1. There is a lot of noise, and the volume will only be turned up next to the child who refuses to cooperate.
2. Communication between the parent and child is one-way. The parent is there to tell the child what to do, and the child is merely there to listen. This discourages the child from confiding in the parent.
3. There is a power struggle. We all have a need for power (even our small children), but here the parents take all the power for themselves. This can push down the child, who will react in one of two ways. Either the child will be overly passive, complying in robot fashion, or like a coiled spring that is held down and then released, the child may rebel with a force that is out of proportion.
4. All kids crave attention from their parents whether it is positive or negative. This approach gives kids a tremendous amount of negative attention.
5. The child's individuality is stifled.

For all of the negatives there are nevertheless a lot of positives to authoritative parenting:

1. The parents are clearly in charge, and this brings to their children a strong feeling of security.
2. Life is clear and predictable- something that is needed in such an unpredictable world.
3. Children learn that there are consequences to their actions.
4. Parents who use aggressive discipline will likely get more cooperation from their children then from parents who are more permissive.

In closing, the consequences of authoritative parenting depends on how it is used. When it becomes an oppressive tyranny, then a child can be crushed under its heaviness. However, when this approach is used properly, it can help bring to the child a much needed sense of balance and security.

Learn more about this author, Simi Brown.
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