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Satire: Laughter

by Valerie Cerami

Created on: October 29, 2007   Last Updated: November 07, 2007

My dog is a genius (no, really)

I kid you not, my Yorkie is a puppy-prodigy. I have empirical, miracle, bemusing, yet, amusing tales (using "tails", would be gratuitous punning, and I am fully serious - MY DOG IS A GENIUS no really).

He is called Vernus, which already makes him exceptionally unique. Even his moniker is steeped deep in history, with profound meaning from the tongues of scholars. In Latin (The Language) Vernus is the masculine form of Vernal (as in Vernal Equinox). It means springtime, the synonym for blooming, beginnings, and joy. He lives up to his name.

Because of his playful nature, he also answers to nicknames: smooglemonster, Vernicus Copernicus, scooterpie-scooterpie (have to say it twice), bubba, monkey boy, booglemeister - when in a rush, simply Vern. There's also the occasional term of endearment: stinky-smeller. Using a nickname of a nickname, I often call him stinky or smelly interchangeably.

Waiting for the elevator late one night with Vernus, I casually said, come on "stinky", or you're a good "stinky", or some version of the ilk. The doorwoman, who rarely speaks (or is awake) perked up with a giddy, "her name is STINKY, ooooh, she's sooooo cute!". Since it was after midnight, I smiled and silently conceded the wisdom of Socrates, "ignorance is bliss". Knowingly polite, Vernus graciously followed my lead by raising his ears and responding to her coos, with a cocking of his head and the obligatory wag of the tail. After all, "a stinky by any other name would smell as sweet" and it was late. He understood completely. Consequently, in the light of day, we must continue the farce "What's in a name?" anywho, when I'm merely called "miss".

Back to Stinky, ahh I mean Vernus, he's above being labeled or categorized. Unencumbered by titles, genders, sexual preferences or species, he doesn't mind behaving like a cat. He is super clean and self sufficient in using a litter box. Yes, indeed, and Fresh Scoop is his favorite scented clay - though he's fine with Johnny Cat (he prides himself on not being too fussy when pussyfooting around).

I often look into his beseeching brown eyes and say, "you're a wise soul". Sage like, he demonstrates how to live life from a perspective of Buddhist Calm: peaceful, humble, honest, non-judgmental, grateful, forgiving, living in the moment, curious, at one with divine nature of just being. Unfettered by riches, untroubled by indecision, free of anger, resentment and the overwhelming worry about the monthly bills,

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