by Jane Allyson

Created on: October 29, 2007

There can be many reasons why a child becomes angry or bad tempered. It may be due to frustration or sadness or a result of an injury. As a parent I have rarely found that a child becomes ill tempered for no reason.

When a child becomes angry, he will often do so because he has an inability to vocalize his true feelings in a sophisticated manner.

To start helping your child deal with his anger, it is important that you find out what it is that is making him angry in the first place. However. Don't jump in immediately. Anger is a natural reaction to a certain situation. It is natures way of pumping more adrenaline into the brain to help deal with a difficult moment.

Stepping in at the right moment will make all the difference perhaps at a time when you can say: "well having a bad temper isn't going to help is it? Lets calm down and see if we can do anything about it together". By indicating to your child that enough is enough, you will lead him to realize that there is a limit to anger. That anger is a controllable emotion and that by managing his anger he can find another solution to his problem. Let him know that he has succeeded in gaining your attention, and that you now know how upset he is, but now it is time to calm down.

Your child may get angry if he feels that you don't understand him. Even if you don't understand, it can be helpful just to listen about why he is so upset. Taking the time to listen whether you agree with him or not, shows that at least you are trying to understand.
Never punish your children for being angry. Never punish them when you are feeling angry. Never get angry with an angry child. It never helps and will actually reinforce their anger. Stay calm, and you will gain their respect.

Never use moments of anger as a time to show your child the error of their ways. They need a gentle encouragement along the right path. Later on you can talk to them about the positive and negative effects of consequential events. Teach them that sometimes by doing something at the wrong time, can lead to something that is going to make them angry. Help them to recognize good decisions and bad decisions and promote a sense of responsibility towards their own actions.

Children often do not examine a situation rationally and may have expectations which are beyond their capability. Don't allow them to get into a situation that they cant cope with. Help them explore alternatives and help them realize the outcome of certain circumstances.

It may be helpful to remember

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