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Let me start by saying I am 32 years old, and I am a single mother to three great kids. Now grant it, for 8 of those years, my children's father lived with me. We were together for 7 of those years, and he lived with me after wards for a bit because of financial reasons. But I'm doing it all on my own now, and with one child steadily getting closer to that TEEN state, I expect many obstacles to be thrown in my path. So how do I keep the relationship I have with my oldest, and my other two children, as they get older? Everyone knows that teenagers rebel, and having to be the good guy as well as the bad guy in the parental roles will be ever so more challenging.

I admit, my kids are awesome. They're respectful, they use their manners, and understand when an adult tells them to "Knock it off," they need to do so. I've done something right already in teaching my children values such as holding doors open for people, or helping their friend clean their room, or even saying thank you to their friends' parents when allowed to stay the night or stay for dinner. I have friends who ask me how I did it, as they have little control over their own brood.

I've always been honest with my kids. When the going gets tough, I don't go into denial and tell them everything is fine. They're going to obviously see that it is not fine, so why try to pretend? Instead, we deal with the curve-balls in life as a unit. My kids are aware when a rough patch is found, and we discuss how they can help get us through it. I plan to continue that as they get older. If they're part of the planning process, or given a role to be of assistance, they'll learn by my example of how to pull the purse strings tighter when needed. They'll be a better judge of character to, as if I find a reason to have fault with someone, I give these reasons to my children and explain to them why I find them unsavory for them to be around. Yes, for if I doubt I would ever introduce you to my children, then you will probably never be one of my close knit friends. For instance, I am not against alcohol; I enjoy an occasional sip from time to time. However, if I consider someone to drink too heavily, or to be blunt someone who is an alcoholic, I point out what makes that person not only harmful to themselves, but to anyone who is around them.

I also have always given my kids a voice of opinion. They are allowed to bring forth discussions about situations that bother them, whether it be about a family member, close friend, or just something random that shook them up. They get to freely speak out against wrongs they felt have been put upon them. I want them to grow up and think their opinion matters. I want them to be able to stand up for themselves. This is my tool for instilling that concept into their mold-able minds.

Setting an example for my kids is very important to me. I know if they see me work hard, give everything my all, and strive to make something better out of their lives as well as my own, they will learn determination, loyalty, and many other traits through my example. Will this change as they get older? I can't answer that, but I do know that the bond I have with my children is very strong, and they already have many of the traits I encourage upon them. I've taken the positive steps while they were younger so I feel confident that these lessons will see them through their "difficult" years to adulthood.

Learn more about this author, Kelly Sandefur.
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