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Resolving debt problems begins by bringing debt out in the open and onto the table where you can talk about solutions. Burying your head in the sand is a non-solution that only makes the inevitable worse. Let's face it. The only way to rid ourselves of debt is to face the problem head on and look for the way out.

Not only talking about debt, but how we talk about it, the words we use to ourselves and our spouse have a significant impact on our feelings about debt. If you think your debts are insurmountable, they will be. It's the mindset that matters.

When you talk about debt it's important to focus on the present and the future. The past can only be part of the discussion as lessons for the future, never blame. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. Blame leads to arguments that can tear relationships and families apart. It's done. Let it go and get on with the solutions.

Once you move the focus of the discussion to "How do we get out of this mess?" instead of "How could we let this happen?" the mood changes. You might not have the problem solved, but you're talking about what you need to do now. Big step. You might try brainstorming and come up with questions like:

* Do we really need to spend money here?
* What if we did this?
* Why can't we pay this one off first?

You get the idea. Let's take the first one. Do we really need to spend money here? Take a hard look at where all the money is going now. Talk about everything you spend your money on now. Dig deep enough and you're bound to find spending that you could do without - at least temporarily.

Well, what if we did this? Now you're talking about ways to shift your spending around. Maybe you can wear your outfits for one more season. Maybe you can find items of value that you have no use for that you might sell. You're looking for ideas.

Why can't we pay this one off first? You sift through all your bills and find one that's manageable. You might have to make a few sacrifices, but you could have this one paid off in a few months. Fewer bills and more money to use on the others.

Debt problems can be solved when you talk about them, but only when you focus on the positive. When you're talking about solutions, you'd be surprised at how creative you can be.

Learn more about this author, John McDevitt.
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