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Let's ask a question, straight folks: When did you decide that you were...STRAIGHT? Yes, you read it right. When did you decide you were straight? The question is no more absurd than asking if or when a homosexual person decided to be gay-based on the premise that it's a "choice".

It is somewhat of a choice whether or not to "act" on one's sexual impulses. I may be heterosexual and choose to be celibate. A homosexual man can chose to have sex with a woman, but that "act" won't make him straight. Many gay men report sexual experiences with women.

Being a member of the majority of the population may be more acceptable, but it doesn't mean that it is necessarily normal, or right, or better. There are plenty of examples in history of the majority being wrong. Those majorities were certain beyond ANY doubt that they were right and that the objects of their scorn deserved it.

Ok, let's get back to the original question. When did you decide you were straight? If you are going to insist that a gay person "decides" or "chooses" to be gay, then it's only fair to turn the question around. And if YOU "decide" to be straight, then don't you have to agree that by that admission you had to consider being gay? Did you really consider being gay? You actually sat down and thought about it? You asked yourself, "Do I want to be straight or do I want to be gay? Shall I spend my life preferring men or women?"

Most straight people will say this is ridiculous. And it is! And it is just as ridiculous that a gay person "decides" to be gay.

We all have our own individual inclinations, tendencies or preferences. We are attracted to whom we are attracted. If you are a heterosexual man and you prefer sex with women, it isn't because you "decided" to be straight. It is because YOU ARE straight. If a man is attracted to men and not women, it isn't because he decided to rebel against his parents, or society or the church. It's because he IS GAY.

This has nothing to do with sexual participation. A straight man is capable of having sex with a man. A gay man is capable of having sex with a woman. This, quite simply, is sexual functioning. No more-no less.

Are people born gay? It appears that some in our society can't stand that possibility. They'd rather it be a choice, because somehow it's easier to blame people for something they could change-and if "they" CHOSE it, they can "un-choose" it.

That's the real "rub" to this whole question? If a person chooses to do or be something, then they can choose not to do or be. But, this doesn't answer the question of orientation. This focus only addresses activity.

Are we afraid that if we acknowledge that a person is born gay, and that they didn't "decide" to be gay, that we have less reason to hate?

That's the real question.

Learn more about this author, Gordon White.
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