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I'd rather throw a necktie party for some of the sleazy politicians in Washington, but that's a whole 'nother subject. Over the years I've planned and participated in some surprise parties, but I can't recall anyone ever throwing one for me. Anyhow, at my very advanced age, such a shock could send me up to that never-ending angel food cake party in the sky. Or will it be devil's food cake?

My most memorable surprise party I attended happened a couple of years ago. I flew across the country to honor my brother's 75th birthday. His daughter planned the party without his knowledge in an Atlantic City hotel. Friends and family gathered in the room before my brother arrived, while I had the bright idea of hiding in the bathtub covered with towels. He was very much surprised and delighted by the greetings in the hotel room, but despite his daughter's urgings, he said he didn't need to go to the bathroom.

I sweated under a bunch of towels for nearly an hour while she tried to persuade him to go into the bathroom. When it happened, I jumped up and threw the towels off and yelled, "Surprise!". He was delighted until he saw me accidentally fall out of the tub (I was a young 72 at the time) and break my arm. While my brother celebrated, I spent the weekend with my arm in a sling getting sympathy from friends and relatives.

Despite my accident, it was a very successful surprise party. I guess the simple key to any such celebration is for everyone involved to keep it a total secret from the honoree. Then, at the planned moment, participants do the expected word, a cheer or a song as the pleasantly shocked person enjoys the moment. It doesn't always work, especially when the supposed honoree resents the surprise. Not many people today remember the early TV show, "This Is Your Life," but failed surprise parties remind me of some of the episodes that were never aired.

The host, Ralph Edwards, would go into a restaurant or other place where the intended honoree was present on some invented pretext. Then, while Edwards talked to the clueless person, a camera crew would sneak up and Edwards would say, "Mr. Movie Star ... this is your life!" Most seemed properly startled and then cooperated, but several, including Angie Dickinson and several other famous people, were both shocked and angered. Their shows stopped right there and never proceeded.

Therefore, a second rule must be that the intended honoree is expected to be pleasantly surprised, and not angry and offended enough to punch

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