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I believe each family and situation is different. There is nothing wrong with children calling a step parent mom or dad, and it is ok to call them by their name. I think it is for the child to figure out and the adults to let happen the way it does.

I call my step-mother by her name. She has been in my life since I was 4 and I do not do this out of disrespect. We have never had an issue or dispute. We have gotten along fine.

I think people look into items such as these with too much effort to find problems. A step parent is not/nor will ever be your parent. What they are is a valuable ally. They will be on your side always. They have the ability to remove the emotions from situations that occur, because they do not feel that the problem is a reflection on them, the way parents feel. This enables them to think constructively and create a calming effect for all situations. Very much like a close aunt or uncle, but actively involved in your life, so better.

Call, them what you feel. It can't be wrong. Birth parents need to be secure in their position and not judge the new additions to the family. All they should be concerned with is that the step parent treats their child well. Then they should sit back and be happy that their children have 1 more person in their corner.

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