Starting over at any age is never easy, but starting over after 40 is very trying. I just recently started my life as being single again and it is one of the hardest things in the world to do. You see, I am 44 years old, so I have to compete with the younger set that is out there in the world now.

The first night out is the worst. I have been with someone for so long, I no longer know how to act when going out on the town. I know longer know what is the right way to act or what is acceptable behavior in the singles scene. There are about five women to every man in the area and each one is looking for someone to share the rest of their life with. Then the men want to make their choices on how far the woman will go instead on what the woman has to offer to the relationship.

My first night out was absolutely the most unusual feeling I have had in a long time. i was celebrating my birthday with my girlfriends out at a local bar. I didn't know what to expect and I didn't know how I was going to deal with it. It took me a couple of hours and a couple of mixed drinks to relax and be able to let go. Once I did, I began to have fun. Even though I was having fun, there was still this little voice in the back of my mind telling me that this was a different world than what I was use to.

I survived my first night out by making it plain to people around me that I was not out to catch a man, nor was I looking for one. I only wanted to have fun and enjoy what was going on around me. Once I let people know that this was the way it was going to be, I got very comfortable with the fact that I did not have to have a man beside me to enjoy myself. I could flirt as long as I didn't give the wrong impression. I could even let a man buy me a drink as long as we had the understanding there were no strings attached. I could even get on the dance floor with one without feeling like I had to go home with him.

It really feels good now to know as long as I set the limits and let those limits be known, then I won't feel the pressure that most others my age feel their first time out and every night after.

I have now recently enjoyed my second night out and am now very comfortable with the scene of being single out with friends. It gets easier every time I go out and it gives me sense of knowing I control what happens to me and how it happens.

I now know there is a life after 40 and being single again does not adversely affect that life.

Learn more about this author, Martie Pistol.
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