The best wedding gift is the gift of your friendship and company at a wedding shower. The bride and groom should not expect lavish presents off everyone. A "shower" is really an American cultural phenomenon and it does seem that in general americans have an awful lot of them all at once. I can understand why guests might get a little washed out after forking out for lots of gifts.

But Wedding showers? Draining? REALLY? We simply do not have this problem in England. Thank goodness. Normally we just get engaged, maybe throw an engagement party. Then, a few months later we have a Hen Party/Stag Party. Next:Get married. After: Have a reception. Oh, and if possible go on a honeymoon.

In England the average guest might get drained of the following:

Wedding Gift and Card: 50
Transport Costs to Wedding: 100
Hotel at venue: 200 for weekend
New Clothes to match ushers/bride grooms specifications: 140

That comes to the mean total of 490! Whoooooah!

Now I have mentioned it it does seem to be getting very expensive already! So, whether American or European or other culture lets put the dear hearted guests in mind and make it a memorable time for them too without emptying their wallets. Here are some tips:

1. Write on the wedding invitation that the company of your guests is of paramount importance irrespective of whether or not they can buy off the gift list

2. To avoid the problem of Gift lists with top heavy expensive items outnumbering cheaper, affordable ones you could:

a) Ask instead for contributions towards your honeymoon shared equally over the whole party (if you are having a large no. of people for the wedding) OR

b)If you are having a small, intimate wedding you could avoid this problem by having a gift list of charitable donation items e.g. www.oxfamunwrapped.com. This is the modern 'feel good' solution to a conventional gift list. A family in a poor country gets a goat, or a well or a school teacher instead of you getting a present! As this is a 'virtual' gift people can choose to spend as little or as much as they like and you will get a souvenir card or fridge magnet glowing in the glory of your happiness alleviating world poverty and suffering.

3. Finally, how about having a wedding shower where YOU give your guests homemade gifts to thank them for helping your in the run-up to the big day. You could buy them small inexpensive gifts such as boxes of chocolates and lottery tickets. That will brighten up any drained guest!

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