Finding time for love can be difficult to carve out of a busy family's life. However, ensuring the health of a marriage is incredibly vital to a lasting relationship. I have met a lot of families that their whole existence is centered around their children and their children's' activities. What gets lost is the importance of the relationship between a husband and wife which is vital in helping to provide a solid foundation and security for their children.

My husband and I have been married for 6 1/2 years. Unfortunately, we both have been married before, which were incredibly unhealthy. However, one thing we learned from the past is to ensure that the marriage comes first. In essence, we make time for love. This is not only intimate moments, but also time to talk, create goals for us, and dream together. For instance, we have a date each Friday night, even if it just to go out to dinner, this is our time together, without kids. The kids are involved in activities, but we make arrangements for someone to help us out in getting them to practice, or whatever the activity may be. This lets the kids know that our relationship is important too.

We do not have family in this area, but with the help of some incredible friends, we can enjoy a relaxing evening together. Additionally, the kids are old enough now that they can stay home by themselves for a couple of hours (they are 10 and 12). We have full custody of the kids and their biological mother lives in another state, so sending them off to mom's is not really an option.

Another way we make time for love is to have "room time". This was more helpful when the kids were younger, but it still effective now. This is a time when we all spend time in our rooms. The kids can play, listen to music, read a book or take a nap. This gives my husband and I an opportunity for some alone time, without interruption from the kids. We designate at least an hour, where unless it was an emergency, the kids are not allowed to bother us, that is mom and dad time.

In the past three years, we have two "vacations" a year. One vacation is our family vacation, and the other is an adult vacation. We save our money and budget for each one. Before we established the two vacations we only had family vacations, and my husband and I would take a couple of long weekends a year, just for us.

In essence, we make time for love because it is imperative to the success of our marriage. Our kids understand and think it is kind of cute that we have dates. With the craziness of the world nowadays, putting your relationship first with your spouse is crucial to its health and survival. When the kids are gone, it is just you and your husband. If you have not fostered your relationship during that time, what will you do, talk or dream about? My husband and I have learned from our past and fiercely embrace our future together. We love spending time together, regardless of what we are doing or how long we get. We cherish each other and our relationship, and look forward to both our family time and our time for love.

Learn more about this author, Brenda Slusser.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: Finding the time for love?
We want to hear your view. Write now!