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I would have had difficulty answering this question had it not been for my mother's past illness. I had faith in the health care system before then; but all of that has changed. Due to the abuse and neglect my mother suffered at the hands of what I thought were professionals, I could never put my trust in them again. Unless, of course, you're speaking of Hospice; an organization I feel is at the top of the compassion ladder.

I know first hand how exhausting and emotionally trying it is to take full responsibility for a loved one. I've been there, and it truly is a decision that needs to be weighed very seriously. However, no matter what we believe will be an inconvenience to us, we need to keep in the back of our minds that strangers, no matter how educated in their field, will be caring for someone that we love dearly. A person, that quite possibly to a health care professional, is seen as just another patient.

Hospice is the only organization of professionals that I have ever witnessed or known to have gone above and beyond the scope of caring. Unfortunately, not all members of our family enter Hospice just because they're elderly; Hospice is the last resort for those family members that will soon be out of our reach forever.

Nursing homes are understaffed; their helpers underpaid, and the work put upon the caregivers is all too often more then they can handle. The result is that quite often because of this, our loved ones that we so dearly care for suffer neglect; sometimes only because there's not enough help, or more blatantly, because the staff just doesn't care.

Elderly patients quite often don't speak of being mistreated even to their own family. It may be because they don't understand what is really happening, they don't realize the treatment is abuse, or they're afraid they'll be considered a patient who causes trouble - so they don't say anything to upset anyone.

I know there are situations where it is impossible, or it might seem to be, to care for an elderly loved one. However, you really need to think things through before you make the decision to let strangers care for those that can't care for themselves. Research is the key.

Before you make a decision - any decision about who will care for your loved one - investigate the background of either the individual or the Home in question.

My mother nearly died do to hospital neglect. I thought she was safe there - wouldn't we all think that? Instead, she was ignored, and literally starved into a state of failure to thrive - a condition that put her in Hospice and took me months to turn around. My mother couldn't swallow properly, due to radiation treatments. Instead of following up on the fact that her food tray went untouched - the information remained, unnoticed, in her chart until it was too late. My mother was sent home to die.

Luckily, it wasn't her time to go. I was able to undo the damage caused by caregivers who did everything BUT care for my mom.

If you have a network of friends or family members, ask them to help. Try as much as you can to do the job yourself with the help of your family. If it truly is an impossible endeavor - you must be certain that the care that will be given is going to be life-sustaining by a caregiver who truly loves her patients.

Otherwise, your loved one may end up as another one of the many unfortunate statistics that fall into the "unknown reason for death" category.

Would that be something you could live with?

Learn more about this author, Gabriella Samms.
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