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Too many bridal showers can become a burden on friends and family not to mention the expense. When a couple chooses to get married, the traditional thing to do is to have a bridal shower. A lot of times there is also an engagement party, bachelor and bachelorette parties and a rehearsal dinner. When you step back at look at the cost not only to host all of these events but for gifts, it can get a little out of hand.
Engagement parties are a nice idea if the couple is planning a wedding two or three years in advance. Any less than that can be overwhelming to guests who will most likely be attending the bridal shower which will be quickly approaching.
Bachelor and Bachelorette parties used to involve the bridal party having one last night out with the bride or groom. Now they seem to have taken on a life of their own. What use to be a simple night out with the girls now comes complete with large groups of people, limos, entertainment, gifts, and in some cases even weekends in Las Vegas!
Rehearsal dinners also used to include the bridal party with an occasional out of town guest. Now they're held in reception halls to accommodate the large group of people invited. Not only does Aunt Sue who lives five hundred miles away get invited but so do the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, old friends, close neighbors and their dates. Considering that this generally takes place a couple of days before the actual wedding, who has the money to afford such an event?
Bridal showers are traditional, but when I was younger the tradition was to have a small group in the privacy of someone's home. Now you're paying a significant amount of money per person to throw a shower at a fancy restaurant. The way of thinking is also, "inviting more guests equals receiving more gifts." So there is a good chance the bride may not even recognize half the people at her shower. This has actually happened to me, I swear my mother-in-law invited everyone she had ever come in contact with in her life to my bridal and baby showers. Another not so traditional but new trend is to have more than one bridal shower. Sometimes the bride's family and groom's family will throw two separate showers, and the bride may also have a shower at her work. But there is a gray area when it comes to multiple showers. There are bound to be friends invited to more than one of them. So do they only go to one, or give one gift? Would they be insulting the family is the chose to only go to one?
The world is also obsessed with money and material things. Long gone are the days when simply showing up to a shower was enough. Now you are expected to be at every event, with money and expensive gifts. Bridal showers and parties are out of hand and are costing people a lot of money. Even after attending how ever many bridal functions you can make, there is also the gift expected at the actual wedding. Before you know it, you as a guest might wind up giving several hundred dollars to the happy couple in the form of gifts and money.
There is also the issue of knowing several different couples planning to wed. How does one handle all of the parties and showers for every couple? Unless you are the kind of person who would bend over backward for anyone you come in contact with, you have to start picking and choosing which events to attend, all while hoping not to offend anyone.
Putting aside money into an event expense account might be a helpful solution if you do decide to attend as many showers and parties as possible. This way you won't have to panic when that invitation comes in the mail.
Learn more about this author, Nicole Watkins.
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Wedding shower etiquette: How too many showers can drain your guests
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