My choices were made from past experiences. Memories of my father's temper, his mental illness, my mother's frustration, their fights, they cloud my vision. Always feeling inadequate, undeserving. I wanted someone to protect me, to love me, to be strong for me. I'd trade anything for that. Desperation makes for bad choices.

Past ghosts of survived tragedies, the fear of reliving past experiences are the fertile ground for bad choices. My choice felt right based on what I knew and what I was comfortable with, though I may have asked for someone's help. I would have rejected any opinion that differed from my resolve because I was comfortable with my pain. When you live in a sheltered awareness you have a low success rate at making good choices. The injury or damage caused by my past experiences made good choices hard to come by. If we make bad choices, often times it is the result of conditioned responses formed in the past. We might know logically that they are bad, but we often are comfortable with bad.

I've come to the conclusion that a bad choice is nothing more than a bad choice. If you keep making the same bad choice, that's when the red flag should go up. I emphasize; the same bad choice. Bad choices bring a certain pain with them, that's your body's natural self defense mechanism warning you that this is bad for you. Listen to it! If you don't, there is a reason you're comfortable with pain and it's not natural. Find a true mentor someone you're secure with, who has achieved what you're trying to possess. I did and it made all the difference. A guide or mentor can get you through this thicket. Maybe in the end, all you want is happiness, self satisfaction, security, love, you're just looking for it in all the wrong places, in all the wrong ways. Sometimes when we try to solve our problems by ourselves we are limited by our own circumstances and conditions. We need to branch out and reach for help from people who are trustworthy, knowledgeable, and loving.

In the end, it doesn't matter how many times you fall down, like a child trying to walk. What matters is that we learn to walk. In the process, we're bound to make a few bad choices (falls), what matters is that we learn from them and if we can, help others learn from our experiences, our choices. For out of our imperfections, we form our greatest treasure, the desire to reach out to other human beings to help, to love, to heal, to share the tears, and the joys of our lives, and maybe even better choices.

Learn more about this author, Mary Pfaff.
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