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My EVERYTHING - How to kill a relationship

You hear it time and time againHe/She is my EVERYTHING! Upon hearing it, or saying it, most of us think these are the first signs of Happily Ever After. I personally think it is the first sign of troubled waters ahead. I also know that upon reading this most of you started to cringe, and think "what is this guy talking about?" How could such a sweet statement like this meaning anything but relationship bliss, right?

This realization came to me while hearing a woman berate her EVERYTHING, for all the things that he was not doing correctly in their relationship. I have seen this time and time again, from both women and men. So what is the point? He probably deserved it, or she was just having a bad day right? Wrong!

The problem goes much deeper than what the surface may appear to most. If this were only a onetime event, or once a year venting at best, I might agree with you; but it's not. It is generally an ongoing dialogue which is based in the belief that our EVERYTHING is not living up to ANYTHING, or at least the expectations that we have bestowed upon them.

Go back to the beginning of the affair and remember when we anointed this person our EVERYTHING. What did we base this appointment on? The fact is we did not even know this person. We only knew what they allowed us to know. We only saw what they permitted us to see. And unfortunately, THEY are not always completely honest with the representation that is presented to us in the first place. Not that they are trying to be deceitful, but they certainly don't want to run off the relationship over some petty little shortcomingsnot until we get a chance to see all the wonderful stuff about them, which validates how valuable they truly are anywayand who could blame them for that?

The truth is, we all do this, at least on some levelthe accused and the accuser. It is nothing more than a self defense mechanism. Where we run into trouble is when we start thinking what we are being shown is all there is. I knew it, He/She is perfect! He/She is my EVERYTHING.

So why is this a problem? To answer this we need to go back to the woman berating her fianc. When asked, she expressed how he use to fulfill her EVERY want and need, and thus was accurately entitled her EVERYTHING. Not so unfair at this point, right? I believe if you were to ask him at that time he would have agreed with youand did; thus taking on the role of Mr. EVERYTHING. But now he is resentful, why? He is resentful because,

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