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Satire: World Leaders

UN Urges Myanmar Junta to Possibly Consider Stopping Killing Protesters -

United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights Louise Arbour stepped up the pressure on Myanmar today when she urged the nation's government to possibly consider stopping killing protesters and perhaps even introducing democratic reforms.

Coming one month after the world was riveted by the brutal suppression of a series of monk-led protests in Yangon, the UN's latest statement is a clear escalation in the swiftly intensifying stand-off with Myanmar's junta, who've demonstrated a blithe disregard for the international body's two previous statements recommending and imploring the moderation of their oppressive policies.

"We're going to show them that we mean business," proclaimed President of the General Assembly Srgjan Kerim, "Today we're urging cooperation, but I assure you it won't be the last they hear from us if Maypyidaw fails to enact the concessions we've endorsed."

Although not yet approaching the same magnitude of reprehensibility as atrocities witnessed in Rwanda and Bosnia in the past fifteen years, the precidence set by the UN's response to such humanitarian catastrophes indicates that an official condemnation could be coming Myanmar's way if it continues to flout the body's wishes.

"We hope it doesn't come to that, but it's no secret that the United Nations retains some of the world's mightiest pens, men and women capable of authoring censures and letters of rebuke so disapproving they'd make your hair stand on end. Just ask Kim Jong-Il," remarked Kerim, alluding to a formal upbraiding of the North Korean leader that referred to him as a "treacherous rogue".

Not restricted to written means of trying to impose its will, the United Nations also possesses its own security forces which could be deployed to Myanmar to stand around looking severely disappointed should the junta's army continue to commit acts of barbarity against the people.

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