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A particularly endearing but equally frustrating part of childhood is the lack of emotional filters a child has in place for situations when he or she feels strongly about something. It is not often a difficult task to determine how your child feels about things like the mall, his or her favourite toys, or his or her least favourite food. Developing this ability to control one's emotions comes later in life, through modeling from parents and other adults as well as hard lessons learned about the appropriate time to say things.
Children are highly impressionable, which can work to your advantage (teaching them good habits) or to your disadvantage (watching a 4-year old mimic a swear word he heard mommy say). This ability to learn and develop at a fast rate provides an ideal teaching environment for parents to encourage their child to control his or her anger using simple tricks that encourage positive behaviour.
1. Model Your Child After Your Own Behaviour.
Your child will follow your lead regardless of whether the message is positive or negative. The most effective way to indirectly influence your child to control his or her anger is to control your own. In a situation where you are feeling highly stressed, it might be best to say "daddy is getting a little frustrated because the cars are moving so slowly, but let's play 'I Spy' and that will make the time go faster!" rather than honking your horn and making rude gestures at the bumper-to-bumper traffic in front of you. Depending on your own anger levels, it is very important to address how you handle frustrating situations as soon as possible, as your child will notice and will copy the things you do.
2. Encourage Positive Diffusion.
If a child is feeling frustrated and angry about a situation, encourage him or her to leave the things that are making him or her angry so that there is ample time to calm down and assess the situation properly. Whether this means a few minutes of quiet time or a full half-hour of playing in the backyard, your child should learn that sometimes it is better to leave a problem and come back to it when he or she is calm.
3. Help Them Solve the Problem.
Some children respond very well do reason ("I'm sorry, honey, but you can't have that chocolate bar because we are going to have supper soon") and some children do not. Recognize how your child is able to handle your explanation for things she may not enjoy and do your part to eliminate her frustration. Whether your child responds best to
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