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The difficult process of finding a therapist involves more than throwing a dart at the phone book and hoping you get the right one. In the case of abuse survivors, this is really not a good idea. Those who suffer or have suffered victimization have special needs that require a special therapist. In this case, the phone book or internet phone book is only the place to begin.

An abuse survivor needs to find a therapist who:

-understands the particular needs of an abuse survivor.
-knows how to set boundaries with abuse survivors.
-shows compassion, and is not a just get over it' person.
-knows how to teach you how to reframe' the abuse so that its effect is less damaging.

When choosing a therapist, you should evaluate them according to the above criteria and any other specific to your type of abuse. First, ask people you know to recommend someone. Then, do a phone or in person interview in order to assess your "fit" with a particular therapist. The following are some questions you may want to consider asking:

1. Have you been trained to work with abuse survivors (especially with your particular type of abuse)?

2. Have you been successful in your work with abuse survivors?

3. What is your approach to working with abuse survivors? (Many approaches exist, find out what you will face as a client and assess it for yourself.)

4. How often will you be seeing the therapist?

5. What are the costs? Do you take insurance? Can I be pre-approved? How will you handle payment arrangements?

In the end, you need to find someone with whom you can develop a rapport. You will be seeing one another for a long time and working on intimate, intense issues. You should find someone you can trust, someone who listens, and someone who cares without crossing the line.

I cannot stress enough the need for trust and rapport with your therapist. Someone has violated you, and you have trust issues. You must trust in order to open up about the abuse, and you must have rapport or you will hold back your feelings and reactions. Once you choose someone, make an appointment and begin your journey to healing.

If you feel the person is not a good fit for you, try another one until you find the one you can depend on for the long haul through the muck of your past and its effects on you. Therapy helps abuse survivors work through their issues so they can go on with their life and leave the baggage behind. Finding one that works well with you can make the process much easier and healthier

Learn more about this author, Angela S. Young.
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