by D.A. Seko

Created on: October 25, 2007

The Four C's of a Long-Term Relationship

How many couples do you know who have been married to the same person for 20, 30, 40 years or more? How many do you know who have been at the same job for 15, 20, 25 years or more? Most of us could probably count on one hand the number of people we know that fit into one or the other of these categories. Why does it seem that long-term relationships are on the decline in America today? Why is it we can't seem to maintain personal and business relationships for any length of time? Statistics indicate that 40 to 50% of marriages today are ending in divorce. I believe the cause for failed relationships in today's society is due to a lack of what I call the four C's of marriage, commitment, communication, compromise, and consideration.

I personally have been married three times. The first two both lasted less than two years. My present marriage, however, has lasted over 20 years. Looking back I can assure you my first two marriage's were lacking in several if not all of the four C's.

Commitment is like a contract. Whenever you sign a contract, regardless of what it's for, purchasing a vehicle, borrowing money, whatever, what are doing? In most cases you are committing to certain terms for a certain length of time. Like contracts relationships must have commitment.
You cannot enter a relationship and expect it to last if you are not 100% committed going in. How many times have you heard or perhaps even said things like, "I've decided to get married and if it doesn't work I'll just get a divorce." Or "I'll give this job a shot, if I don't like it I can always quit." No matter what it is your entering into if you haven't made your mind up to be totally committed then your chances of it lasting is zero to none.

Then there's the myth that love can overcome anything. This is indeed a beautiful thought but unfortunately it just isn't true. Regardless of how much you love, your spouse, your job, your friend, love is not always going to be enough. Without total commitment there is no way you're going to make it through all the trials that are going to come your way. Just because you love your job doesn't mean it will last. The first time you get ticked off at the boss or a co-worker or someone gets a promotion you feel you deserved, no matter how much you love your job if you're not totally committed to doing whatever it takes to stick it out you are going to quit. It works the same way in personal relationships. When the going gets tough

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