by Carol Gioia

Created on: October 24, 2007   Last Updated: March 13, 2008

When your student grows up and has the ability to obtain superior employment or a lucrative career because he is well educated, he will be monetarily rewarded. In the meantime, equating good grades with opportunities to "cash in" is a mistake.

There is a psychological component to the correlation between learning and grades. When a child starts school, there is an unspoken agreement established between the educational system, the teachers and your child. The child pays attention, performs to the best of his ability and is rewarded for his efforts with grades. The child quickly realizes, the more effort expended, the better the grade. The priority is to learn; the reward is the grade.

The parents role is to use the grade merely as a reflection of the progress the child is making in his educational journey. Putting too much emphasis on grades, using rewards and punishment, transfers the grading system out of the educational arena into the realm of parental discipline.

The report card belongs to the student. It is a reflection of the student's achievement or failure. It has nothing to do with parental performance. Parents often brag about their child's grades, or become angry if the child does not perform to their expectations. A child cannot be rewarded or punished into learning. You also cannot "buy" good grades.

Once parents begin to interfere with the learning process by attempting to "control" the child's grades with inappropriate response, such as promising rewards of money, a cycle of dysfunctional learning behavior is created. The emphasis is no longer on learning to the best of the student's ability. The focus suddenly converts to getting good grades to "please" the parents or obtain the promised reward. When the reward is withheld for less than stellar performance, the child loses motivation and getting poor grades is often the resulting act of rebellion. Learning is out of the equation, as grades become a power struggle between parent and child.

Ways for parents to avoid interfering with the student's learning process, and allowing grades to be their own reward:

* View the report card strictly as a progress report. Be supportive if your child's grades indicate he is struggling. Your child's efforts are best measured by the conduct grade. If your child has good conduct, he is probably performing to the best of his ability. Contact his teacher and ask for suggestions on how you can help your child.

* Be objective. Point out how proud a child should be of himself

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