by Danielle Friedl

Created on: October 23, 2007

The most important tip in establishing a good relationship with your child if you're not married to their other parent is to keep it strictly about the relationship with the child. Never bring the other parent into your own personal relationship with your child. Whatever reasons that brought you to single parenthood should not be a burden on your child and should not be discussed with them, especially young children.

It's also important to remember that just because you aren't married to your child's father/mother you still have a responsibility to act as one parental unit on the big issues, as well as the small ones. The parent that has primary custody is obviously going to be the one making daily decisions but there are moments when you have to act as a united front with your child. In these instances it is important to talk without your child and decide how the situation is going to be handled. If your child is going from house to house it's important to make sure the basic rules are being followed in both homes.

When I was being raised by my single mother I knew it was her way or the highway on a daily basis, however I also knew that if it was something major that both my parents were going to be involved and that they would always be on the same page with each other. It gives your child a sense of comfort to know that even if their parents aren't together in life, they are together in how you're being raised.

Make sure that while you are fostering your own relationship with your child that you allow their other parent to do the same. Don't try to pit your child against their parent or they will only grow to resent you. Your relationship with your child is about you and your child - not about their other parent or about YOU and their other parent.

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