by Len Morse

Created on: October 23, 2007   Last Updated: November 28, 2007

When you're considering marriage, physical intimacy is just as important as concepts like family, religion, finances, and living arrangements. In general, people engage in sex for two different reasons: For most, it's a way to procreate. For others, it's simply a pleasurable activity. Pre-marital sex is not a necessity, but it is certainly a good option for partners who wish to become more intimate and comfortable with each other before officially tying the knot.

Many (if not all) religions have specific allowances and restrictions regarding sex and marriage. However, not every religious believer is covered. For instance, what if you want to get married, but not have children? Is there some "loophole" in your religious doctrine that will allow you to have sex, even before marriage, if the intended result is not procreation? Doubtful. What if you don't even want to get married, yet would still like to have a partner? If your religion forbids pre-marital sex, you're out of luck. How frustrating.

If you follow the Bible or any other recognized religious manuscript, by all means, live your life by those edicts. Certainly, the fear of Hell or the promise of Heaven (or any religion's version thereof) is a powerful motivator. However, if you don't happen to live by an organized religion and instead believe that marriage and religion are mutually exclusive, you have alternatives.

YELLOW LIGHT: CHECK FOR COMPATIBILITY

If marriage is on your future agenda, physical chemistry should not be ignored, especially when figuring out if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. This is not to say that you can't work on improving your initial chemistry, but why wait until after marriage to make that discovery?

Are "Tab A" and "Slot B" not playing nicely together? Do you encounter major differences of opinion on frequency, style, and level of experimentation? If so, you should tactfully and honestly discuss the discrepancies (with each other only, please), then gently work towards agreed-upon goals until you both reach a comfortable level. However, if you both decide that there's no hope, it's much easier to end the relationship before marriage.

Both partners should also discuss their emotional needs and desires, and decide as a unit what would benefit them the most. This may take some time as marriage (like any good partnership) usually involves a certain amount of sacrifice. (If that last word gives you the heebie-jeebies, you might want to seriously re-think your outlook,

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