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I remember it being cold; my exposed skin struggled to keep its color as the strong wind swirled around its victim, chilling me to the bone. The boat swayed from side to side, its direction determined by the endless thrashing of the malicious waves. It was late and our boat was traveling the endless ocean alone, solitary in our purpose. It was ritual for my brother and me to head out into the open water.

I remember the first time I tipped backwards into that water almost as if it was yesterday. It was incredible that feeling, those few seconds it took to fall from safety into the menacing water seemed endless, your body shuddered just at the thought of entering that green abyss. But it was not what I had expected. There was no slimy seaweed that swept across my body, entangling me in a net of tormenting terror, nor was there endless darkness in which one was left only to imagine the horrifying creatures that were lurking in the water around them, just waiting to strike at any disturbance. Yet it was peaceful and comfortable, mind you my brother had been clinging onto my hand the whole time and it had taken me a good five minutes to conquer my fear and remove my gaze from our grasping hands. There was nothing but beauty in that water, what was green on the surface turned to blue beneath, the first lingering rays of sunlight penetrated the surface, creating magical silhouettes around us. Schools of fish of all colors and sizes carelessly swam by us, almost immune to the fact that there were two foreign bodies sitting in their way.

But, today wasn't to be like that, little did I know at the time, but as my brother and I made our way across the choppy sea to our long awaited destination, we were making our way to the worst day of my life. Reflecting upon that day I remember now that that morning was dark. Darker than usual, the ocean was rough; the waves frequently breached the sides of the boat, encompassing us in swells of cold salt water. Still we pressed on; no form of bad weather would stop us from our ritual. It's clear to me now, they were warning signs, I often wonder why that was not enough to turn us around but to ask "why" is for those who cannot deal with the "what".

Proficient at suiting up, I was in the water in less than five minutes. As soon as my head fell beneath the surface of the water I knew there was something wrong something not right around me. My brother had been having trouble with his oxygen tank and was still in the boat and for the first

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