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eating than a breakfast meal, the child could immediately visualize washing breakfast dishes in ten minutes as opposed to dinner dishes that may take half an hour or more. The consequence for the child's "immediate gratification" decision, should she choose to go out and play right now, would be to clean a bigger stack of dishes later on.

To further reiterate the notion that choices are more beneficial to children than commands, lets examine a bit of research data wherein parents have been categorized as authoritarian, permissive, and democratic.

Authoritarian Authoritarian parents tend to dominate their children. These parents are likely to have little to no warmth or affection; and may be excessively critical of children. They rarely give children a chance to make decisions, and they do not explain why they want children to perform assigned tasks unless they tell them they have to because the parent told them to.

Permissive Permissive parents let their children fend for themselves. They don't tend to make rules; however, if they should make one, their children don't concern themselves with parental enforcement because they have, at some point, figured out the parent wouldn't enforce rules. These parents accept their children as they are and don't make any efforts to mold them.

Democratic - Democratic parents teach their children to be responsible. They make them think about things they do, or don't do, and the repercussions either way. They are very concise with getting their expectations across to their children and openly explain why they tell them the things they tell them.

Scientists have found that children have the most positive outcomes when they are raised by parents utilizing the democratic parenting style. Children fostered by permissive parents become aggressive and are known to act out. Children with authoritarian parents tend to have reduced self-esteem and are likely to be submissive and compliant.

Considering the scientific findings that children raised by parents utilizing the democratic style, which involves granting children choices, allowing them to think for themselves, and explaining decisions to them, one can only come to the conclusion that giving children choices rather than commands is more beneficial to children.

With that said, however, the fact that choices may be more beneficial to children than commands does not mean commands should never be given. There are, in fact, good reasons children should be given commands; and good reasons they should follow them. After all, it wouldn't make sense to give a child a choice between holding his hands over a flame and crossing a street without looking where he was going. Therefore, parents should determine which tactic is appropriate by what issue is currently at stake.

Learn more about this author, R. Renee Bembry.
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