by R. Renee Bembry

Created on: October 22, 2007   Last Updated: June 25, 2010

Children are not little adults. They are little immature beings. Their need for “actual mature” adults to help them grow into successful productive citizens deserves to be responded to with thoughtfulness, patience, and understanding. This is why thoughtfulness, patience, and understanding play beneficial roles when it comes to giving children choices rather than commands.

Showing that choices are more beneficial to children than commands is cinchy when examining research data that classifies parents as having three basic types of child rearing styles. The parenting styles are categorized as authoritarian, permissive, and democratic.

Authoritarian Parenting Style - According to research studies, authoritarian parents tend to dominate their children. In furtherance, studies show that parents using the authoritarian child rearing style are likely to have little to no warmth or affection; and may be excessively critical of children. Authoritarian parents rarely allow children opportunities to make decisions, and they do not explain why they want children to perform assigned tasks unless they tell them they have to because the parent told them to.

Permissive Parenting Style - Permissive parents let their children fend for themselves. Permissive parents do not tend to make rules; however, should they make decide to make a rule, their children are likely to disregard the rule because past experience has taught the children that their parents are not likely to enforce rules. Permissive parents tend to accept their children as they are and usually refrain from making efforts to mold them.

Democratic Parenting Style - Parents using the democratic style of raising children teach children to be responsible individuals. Democratic parents expect their children to think about the things they do or do not do and are more likely than authoritarian parents to allow children choices. Democratic parents expect their children to take responsibility for their actions. Democratic parents are very concise with getting their expectations across to their children and openly explain why they tell the children the things they tell them.

According to studies, democratic parenting styles that allow children choices and insist children take responsibility for their actions benefits children more than other parenting styles. Scientists have found that children have the most positive outcomes when raised by parents using the democratic parenting style. Studies

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