by Brandi Borland

Created on: October 22, 2007

Being a single parent can be tough. In most cases this person has to fill the roles of both mom & dad for their child(ren). You want to do the best for your child, and putting all your energy into the large shoes you have to fill can be quite difficult at times. Squeezing time in for yourself can be even more difficult. However, it is important to be able to fit in "you time" -using this time as you'd like, helping yourself to refresh and recharge. Here are just a few ideas to help you accomplish this:

Form a mother's/father's group with other local single parents. Designate a time (per month) that one or two of the other parents has a sleepover or "pizza & movie night" at their house for the children. This allows the other parents to have child-free nights until it is his/her turn to take over the slumber party. Don't have any single friends? -Many cities offer singles-parent-groups that meet at a designated place (like a convention center, library, or counseling center) once per week. The purpose of these groups are to allow other single-parents to meet new friends that they have something in common (single parenthood) with. To find one of these groups, check your local newspaper, counseling office, or church.

Another way to enjoy some semi-private "you time" is to involve your child in a daily or weekly craft project. Fresh out of ideas? -Browsing the Internet or parenting books for children's hobbies or crafts is a good place to start. Engaging your child in a craft he/she is interested in gives you some time to sit with a cup of tea and read chapters of that book you've been wanting to lose yourself in.

Children's play dates can also be adult-play dates! While your child is busy interacting with his/her peers, instead of hurrying off to run your errands, stay awhile and socialize with the other parents. Discuss grown-up things like the latest book your reading, or that new restaurant on the corner that you've tried. You'll find that this will be a nice change of conversation than the everyday topic of how Barbie's pink boots match her car.

If all else fails, include your child in on an activity you think you both would enjoy. Simply getting some time to do the things you enjoy (whether it be alone or with your son/daughter), will feel refreshing. Many cities offer classes such as Mommy-and-Me, which engages you and your child in cooking up simple recipes, exercising together, or making a craft with each other. All of which are done with other single parents and their children. Many schools offer the Parents-As-Teachers program that allows children and their parents to gather (for a small event of some type) and interact with other parents and children from your area.

A lot of parents get so wrapped up in their children's lives that they forget about themselves. It is important to put down the Play-Doh every once in awhile and remind yourself of who YOU are by doing things that you are interested in. Relax and enjoy!

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