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so over the years I developed a thick skin and an assertive nature to deal with all the confusing information that was being passed on to me. After all, people are only doing what comes naturally because the sharing of knowledge is part of what makes us human. It comes as second nature to us to pass on advice gleaned from our past experience especially when we are finally introduced to the joys of parenthood. Some of the stuff you learn from having a child is really uplifting, and you end up wanting to shout about it from the rooftops.

It would be impolite not to thank someone for the information that they giving to you and in the long run they may actually be helping you anyway even if it compels you to reassess your own parenting methods. I would expect the same consideration from others when I am passing on my own parcel of experience... I would not be egotistic enough to think that I am the font of all knowledge, but I would hope that people respect me enough to know that I am taking the trouble to impart something I feel may be helpful to them.

Sometimes a simple,"That's a great idea, thank you," is sufficient or a "That's a good idea I will look up a bit more information about that later," can be another way of dealing with advice.

Sometimes you may find that you are being compelled into a course of action that you are not at all happy about. You have to thank that person but say;"I know that you are trying to help and I appreciate it, but I still don't feel comfortable with that idea..." or "I appreciate what you are saying but I am sure I read differently elsewhere, perhaps I had better check up to verify the facts." Even; "I really like that idea, but we have already started this method first, perhaps we will try your idea later..."

It is important to build a degree of self esteem and a sense of identity in relation to bringing up your children. Every child is different and so the method of parenting will vary in each case. Never allow another parent to undermine your sense of worthiness or proficiency as a parent because in most cases the adage still holds that "mother knows best"

Conflicting parenting advice can sometimes have the effect of making us feel a little confused or undermine our confidence. This is a natural reaction and it may benefit some people to attend parenting classes. This will give you the benefit of meeting other people who are in a similar situation and pooling your experiences as a collective within a learning situation can reap many rewards.

From the moment you are given the happy new of your impending new arrival I would advise you to read up as much as you can, and as there is plenty of information available from books and magazines, to the Internet, health pamphlets and DVD's, you will find it relatively easy to get a rough idea from the very basics to more sophisticated parenting methods.

So instead of being bewildered by the incredible amount of diverse advice that you are invariably going to receive from well meaning folk, bolstered with your up to date knowledge of all things parental from the miracle of birth to the growing pains of a teenager it may even mean that you end up teaching THEM a thing or too!

Learn more about this author, Jane Allyson.
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