I ALWAYS LOVED YOU BEST . . .

I was in awe as you took your first steps and slowly began to move about the house. Your little steps turned into little tumbles. I wanted to take those tumbles for you because I always loved you best.

A few years later I watched you get on the school bus for the first time afraid and unsure. I wanted to go with you as tears slowly ran down my cheeks while I waved to you from the corner. I always loved you best.

I sat beside your bed rubbing your back and wiping your forehead with a cool cloth when you ran a high temperature. How I wished I were the one lying in that bed sick instead of you because I always loved you best.

It saddened me that you were angry for making you stay inside to complete your homework instead of allowing you to play out-of-doors with your friends. Even though you were upset with me I always loved you best.

Then there were days when I would ask you to clean your room. You would stomp up the stairs and slam the door. You would not speak to me even though I always loved you best.

Occasionally you did not come home at curfew. You didn't telephone to tell me you were all right. I was so worried that something bad happened to you. I grounded you for not following the rules. You didn't understand my concern and you were angry but I always loved you best.

Graduation Day came. I was overcome with emotion as I watched you cross the stage to accept your diploma. I felt a strong sense of pride and yet sadness because you grew up so quickly. Again you know I always loved you best.

A few years later I found myself at the airport anxiously awaiting the arrival of your plane. You'd been serving overseas in the Armed Forces. I was very lonely and so afraid that you might be wounded. How I wished I could take your place. You see I always loved you best.

I recall that day the tears came streaming down my face as I held your hand when you slowly stopped breathing. God was taking you from my arms into his. Once again I wanted to trade places with you. I didn't want to let you go as I poured through the "Memory Book" in my mind. It seemed like just a few short years ago I held you in my arms for the very first time as you entered this world. Now I am holding you in my arms as you are exiting this world. The sunlight fell softly upon your face as I kissed you and whispered "goodbye". You looked at me, smiled and slowly slipped your hand from mine. The last words you uttered were, "Mom, I always loved you best."

Learn more about this author, Linda Braymiller.
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