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From an early age, as soon as a child's cognitive and muscle system begin to mature, and he begins to become more mobile, his range of choices within the boundaries of experience begin to develop.

The child begins to think for himself and develop a personality in his own right separate from his parents, using this new sense of power as a base for his growing autonomy and awareness of independence.

Parents are greatly aware that from an early age children tend to want to do things for themselves and they know that they tread a fine line between allowing their child to exercise these new abilities whilst at the same time ensuring that they "don't bite off more than they can chew".

One way that parents can allow their child to develop a sense of self control without losing self esteem or confidence is giving them choices in life. The younger the child the more limited the choice should be and will usually start with basic functions such as a type of food preferred. For example very young children cannot cope with multiple choices, merely asking them whether they would like either toast or cereal for breakfast is enough to avoid parental/child conflict and allow them a sense of autonomy and the experience of manipulating their environment.

The ability to have a say in what goes on in our lives is fundamental to the human and is a motivational tool for self advancement and learning abilities. Early choices open up analytical skills and with time these skills will become much more sophisticated leading to a finer degree of control over their environment and promotes self awareness.

Not only do choices give a child a sense of autonomy, it is an opportunity to teach them about making the right decisions in life. It enables the child to learn that by making the right choice it will lead to a more pleasant or comfortable experience for him. Early choices may be; "Do you want a blanket to take to bed with you?", "do you want crayons or paints?", "do you want jam or peanut butter in your sandwich today?"

All children are different but the one thing that they all have in common is a need to have some kind of control over their lives. Some children are very easy going and may be happy to go along with what you suggest but it is still important that they learn that life is not a succession of well run events. They must learn that life is a series of choices and that people live with the consequences of what they decide to do.

Some children get very angry if they are not able to

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