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Humor: Computers

Concussion or my new PC fairy godmother?

It wasn't a very big explosion, but it brought my head up with a bang all of its own. I was scrabbling on the floor fumbling to plug in my brand new computer when BOOM! The noise made me jump and my skull cracked hard against the underside of the desk. At first I thought concussion probably explained what happened next.


I surfaced from scrabbling round on my hands and knees, and tried to clear the stars in my eyes before I realized they were actually floating all around me. Worse still was the apparition with bad teeth, grinning at me.

"Hi Josh. How's your head?"

Let me tell you, at this stage I was thinking I should make my way to the medical room to see the company nurse. Believe me, I am not prone to hallucinations - at least not since I gave up puffing on a joint during my misspent youth - but older and wiser I know far better than to believe my own eyes.

Yet, there he was, all three foot nothing of him, draped over my pristine screen and keyboard as if he was in an armchair, swinging his feet and nonchalantly flicking fag ash all over my desk. Clearly the company non-smoking policy has little impact with shabby dwarf holograms.

I say hologram because he was there, yet wasn't all there if you see what I mean. He sort of shimmered and when I tried to focus on him he seemed to be hovering just above the computer. Maybe the geniuses from the Virtual Reality Research Department had been at my new PC and set me up. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Cat got your tongue? Or did that bang on your head knock you truly sensible?" His eyes sparkled and he laughed the dirtiest sounding chuckle I'd heard in my life.

"What?" I rubbed my head and grimaced at him.

"Well, it couldn't knock you senseless - you've been that all your life!" He guffawed another wave of filthy sound over me. Flecks of spittle sprayed into the air before landing on the front of his grubby overcoat.

"OK. So tell me what's going on - I take it you're here from Don and the boys to show how clever they are in VRR." The head of the Virtual Reality Research team thought he had a great sense of humor, which was true if you happened to be an eight year old with a mental age of three and an IQ of less.

He belched fermented curry and stale alcohol fumes over me before responding. "Nah, they aren't imaginative enough to come up with something as impressive


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Humor: Computers

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