I am of the sad notion that respect is not top priority of the things parents teach children in this day and age. Too often we parents let our kids call the shots because we want them to be able to make the decisions. If we come down too hard on them they won't like us and want to perform. If we raise our voice, it'll affect their development. If we are too difficult, it's hard to be a happy family. We are afraid to come down too hard on them if they make an embarassing scene in public due to the fear most mothers have about someone calling Protective Services-these threats happen all the time.

I have news for these types of parents. Stop being afraid of your child and this world, first of all. Next, start showing your kids real love. I don't doubt mothers love their children. In my world, however, the definition of love is pretty specific. Love isn't just a feeling, it's a behavior. In showing love as a behavior we provide for, soothe, offer advice, show reliablity, respect them in general, and provide our best example of how a good human being lives and acts.

Secondly, there are two sides of that behavior I call love. The first side of love is the mushy, feel good, elation, make-you-want-to-record-this-m oment kind of love. It's what makes parenthood worth the struggles. The other side of love is the more difficult side of love we regretfully have to execute when they have done something unwise, and most times, unwise behavior is due to a lack of respect. It's this 'other' side of love many parents are afraid of because they don't want to break their spirit.

Our kids know better. We knew better most times, didn't we? There's behavioral lack of respect, and 'talking back' lack of respect. Disciplining our kids when they are disrespectful is more important than any other character building activity out there. When kids understand Mom isn't willing to put up with bratty behavior, coming in late, or making snide comments, they perform to those standards Mom has set. Set the bar high. Get reinforcements while they're young.

When they falter and give Mom that abusive behavior, they are actually selling themselves short for the real world.

It's obvious something else is going on in their lives at that moment: hunger, anger, lack of sleep, rejection at school...but there's really no excuse, so consistency is key.

The biggest lesson my father taught me was to respect people. He made me sit down one day because I had been

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