by Samantha Easley

Created on: October 22, 2007

Dating with small children is always a challenge. I have one little boy and two little girls, and I have the worst time dating. I'm always scared that whoever I date may not want children, which is why I'm always very upfront with guys. I let them know straight from the start that I do have three kids, and we are a package deal. I also make sure that the guy knows he will have to be with me for at least six months before he can meet my children. I want to be able to feel like the guy really is committed to me before I bring him into the kids' life simply because I don't want men coming in and out and confusing them.

There's never going to be a way to guarantee that the guy who you are with truly wants children at this time. There's also no way to ever guarantee that he will be able to love your children as his own. All that you can really do is take the chance and try. There are a few hints though that may help you to be able to tell if this guy truly wants to be a dad or not.

1) When the guy talks about your future together, he will refer to the kids as "our kids" or "my kids". Guys who constantly refer to your kids as "the kids" or "your kids" are never going to move past that. If he is still looking to the future and seeing the kids as simply yours, then he probably does not want to be a dad. However, if he is planning for the future and referring to your children as his as well, then there is a pretty good chance that this is something that he is ready for.

2) When the guy plans outings for you, they will be family outings. If your guy is constantly trying to get a babysitter so that the two of you can go to the bar or go have a peaceful night, then he probably does not want to be a dad. Guys who want to be dads are going to plan outings that the entire family can go out and enjoy.

3) If your guy can pick your daughter's favorite teddy bear out of a line up on the first try with no hints, then he probably wants to be a dad. Guys who don't want to be dads aren't going to understand why your daughter needs one specific teddy bear to go to sleep. He's just going to give her a teddy bear and expect her to be okay with it. A guy has to pay attention to your daughter and get to know her to be able to identify her favorite.

These are only a few ways to tell that your guy probably wants to be a dad to your children. Dating as a single mom is very hard, but it can be done. The main thing is to remember that your children have to come first, no matter what, and yes this means that sometimes you will not date.

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