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Late for work: The best excuses

Dogs, kids, keys, traffic, car problems, parking-these are all very typical excuses. They are sometimes truthful, though there are other things that keep people from being timely-fights with spouses, phone calls, sleeping in.

The best excuses by the best slackers (and as a supervisor, I've known plenty!) come with props. It's hard to not be impressed by props. Hint: keep these props in a shoebox in your truck should you ever need them.

Here are some of the best excuses:

1. Prop-cotton ball underneath band-aid on arm. Excuse: Sorry, I was giving blood and then felt a little woosy, so they made me drink some orange juice before I could drive.

2. Prop-grease on hands (mascara rubbed in will do.) Excuse: Oh my god, if I don't get a new car I'm going to be killed on the road.

3. Prop-no makeup (If you are normally a make-up wearer or glasses (if you are a contact wearer). Excuse: I'm sorry, I feel so ill, but I'm going to try my hardest to work all day.

4. Prop-box of cold medicine and cough drops, or bottle of Kaopectate, whatever you have at home. Excuse: See number 3.

5. Prop-printout of article from the web on rare, mysterious disease and box of kleenex. Excuse: I'm so sorry, I received bad news about a relative this morning, but I'm not ready to talk about it. Thanks for understanding.

I told you I learned from the best. I also learned from one crafty employee that a good way to burn a lot of sick leave right while interviewing before quitting is to fake a root canal-you need several appointments for that.

Props can just be carried without calling attention to them. Just let them be noticed. By the same token, don't carry damaging props, like Starbucks cups.

Learn more about this author, Eva Smart.
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